You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
