Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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