so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
