My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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