Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
