His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
