i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
