you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
