You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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