Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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