My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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