i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
