He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
