I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
