From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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