I accidentally had phone sex last night
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
