The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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