the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
