So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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