don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A+ Viking dick
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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