at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
