I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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