we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
