Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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