Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
