I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
