Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just invented taco cereal.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
