2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
