He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
