he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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