Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
