It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
