i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
