I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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