Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
