garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
