last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
