She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
