Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
