I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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