I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
