no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The air taste purple.
Randomize
