I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
