I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
