i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
