He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
