piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
sex in a hospital.. check
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
