I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
