I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
