I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
this is an emotional support booty call
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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