Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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