I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
