Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
